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SHARED MEMORIES |
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DAVE BODNER Born: 06/26/1947ÑDied:
02/16/2019 / 72 Years 8 Months |
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Obituary in Erie-Times Newspaper
Dave's obituary from the newspaper with a photo he picked from a photo shoot in the Lincoln Community Center Library of the Erie County Public Library down the street from the Erie International Airport on April 27, 2017. I would not be surprised to learn that Dave wrote the initial draft of this obituary.
Eulogy by Chuck Bliley Today, we gather to celebrate
the passing of a good friend to all of us, and a brother of two of you. One of things that Dave cherished
most, was his life-long friendships, especially with
the notorious Dull Brothers and Exciting Sisters. For those few who do not know
me, I am Chuck Bliley, one of DaveÕs lifelong friends and the long-standing
president of the Dull Brothers of the Rochester, New York chapter. So far my
recruiting efforts have resulted in only one memberÑME! Trust me, I
tried. More than a year before Dave
passed, he asked me to give a eulogy for him and take a series of photos to
be considered for his obituary. Wow! That was a shocking honor
that I have never before been offered. Dave promised to give me a rough draft
to make it easier. Yah. Right! So here goes. Yes, some of this eulogy is
based on his input, but not all. After all, I have a slightly different point
of view of his life and our relationship to him, than he may have had. Dave and I began a life-long
friendship through a common interest in ham radio while at Westminster Junior
High School. While Dave abandoned his interest in ham radio after a few years,
our friendship lasted 59 years, a few years shorter than many of you in this
room. Dave recollected, ÒOur early mutual interest in amateur radio
included many enjoyable hours in the 3rd floor ham shack of the Bliley family
home. We both enlisted in the Coast Guard a couple of years apart to serve as
electronic technicians, then discharged, and finally completed our college
studies. Both of us fell in love with and married beautiful women, and
tragically lost them both to cancer at an early age. They were beautiful soul
mates. This common tragedy allowed us to uniquely empathize with each otherÕs
struggles with grief.Ó A year after my first wife,
Debbie died of cancer, Dave offered me some good advice on how to balance my respect
for DebbieÕs memory and the interest of a potential successor. The advice he gave was in
writing. It was GOOD advice, so I filed it away for future reference.
Unfortunately, I could never find his original letter, so it became a topic
of telephone conversations for the next couple of years. This was the only
letter or card he wrote to me over in 30 years, that I did not keep. He had a talent for writing thoughtful
letters and cards, which made me, and probably many of you to feel special. Dave continued on in his draft
eulogy, saying he Òloved the natural
beauty of the world and traveled extensively, but still had many destinations
on his bucket list. He loved music (classical and jazz), reading (history
& biographies), and good poetry. He did not forget his love of boats, and spoke of many fond
memories of summer days spent on Captain Al's boat on Lake Erie.Ó He continues, ÒBut, most of all he loved all things
aviation. He was forever amazed that two bicycle mechanics from Dayton had
invented a machine that could fly and would change our world. His happiest
times were spent flying over the northwest Pennsylvania countryside in his
favorite Cessna.Ó For some reason, he never asked
me to fly with him. Did he ask any of you? If not, it may have been his way
of trying to protect those he loved most of all from falling from the sky
with him. I would be remiss if I did not
mention his love affair with his burgundy 1990 Olds. Nothing could persuade
him to replace it with a modern speedster/chick mobile, nor even an old
jalopy. Like wine, he believed it improved with age! And, this was his child. Dave continued, ÒIn his later
days, he expressed his love for his sisters, Gail and Janet, and will be
forever thankful for all the support, love and comfort they extended to him
during his long illness.Ó When I was sitting at my desk
writing this, I wanted to summarize DaveÕs complex personality. It seemed
like he was a bit like a rack of spicesÑsome sweet, others bitter, a
few salty, a few like hot pepper. Sometimes, you got one spice at a time, and
other times you got all in a delightful and tasty blend that made the day or
occasion so lovely. Of course, a cold brew or a
Scotch on the rocks habitually complemented the ÒmealÓ. Occasionally, both.
He even brought his favorite booze with him when he came to Rochester to
visit my family and me. This included beer and Pinch brand scotch. Ah, how he
loved his scotch! Dave also loved all of his Dull
Brothers and their families. He often spoke of his love and concern for each
of you. There was a mix of pride and criticism for his friends. While he may
have been critical at times, I saw it more like an expression of his love for
each of you, and wanted you to have the very best in life. One of DaveÕs passions was dancing.
He took my place and danced with my first wife, Debbie, at our daughterÕs
wedding in 2002. In 2009, Marilyn and I took my
mother-in-law from my first marriage out for a weather-postponed New YearÕs
celebration at the Colonial Inn restaurant. The restaurant had a small band
that night that played jazz and popular tunes. Virginia asked Dave to dance
when a familiar song started.
Dave smiled and accepted the invitation without hesitation. It was great fun to see the two
of them out on the floor, especially 89-year-old Virginia in her socks. She
said, her boots were Òtoo hotÓ! They both loved the
moment; it was a real gift to her and a delight to watch. No doubt, more than
one woman present today had the pleasure of dancing with Dave. Yes, I have a
photo of this event to prove it. Yah, like you needed proof that he liked to
dance. While surfing on YouTube one day last February, I came across a music
video of Lee Ann Womack singing ÒI Hope You DanceÓ. Not only was the song
beautiful, the story was one that reflected DaveÕs philosophy of taking time
in life to enjoy those sweet moments when they present themselves, and dance.
Do not let them pass by and fill you with regrets later. When I saw the photos of the
belly dancer at a Dull Brothers celebration, I knew this song would give a
message that Dave would have likely said himself, even if it was a song by a country music star. (Play the ÒI Hope
You DanceÓ
video on YouTube.) When I was outlining this
celebration, I shared the video you just viewed with a few of you here. I was
told that while it was appropriate, the program would not be complete without
the presentation of another country and western song, sung by Luke Bryan. I
am sure you will agree with the sentiment in this song.
(Play the ÒDrink A
BeerÓ video
on YouTube.) Let us now toast Dave with a
drink, or applause, for a life well lived! Rest in peace, our friend and
brother! Thank you for the memories!!! Web Memorial Photo Gallery
Answering Machine Recording
From time to time I record
interesting recordings from my telephone answering machine. Sometimes because
they are unique, and others just to record the voices of those people who are
important in my life. Dave was among these people whose messages I chose to
save.
Here is a single recording from
February 2012 of Dave calling to think me for a gift I sent him of a book of
the life of Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer.
It is short, but I hope it
brings back some memories of him talking with you.
Answering
Machine Recording, February 2012 (MP4/400k/00:32)
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Revised:
August 5, 2020